I don't do anything besides school, binge and purging these days. I'm too scared to hang out with friends, because I'm so afraid that they will see how "sick" I am... My doctor wants to IP me again because I'm in a dangerous lack of potassium. She's afraid I might get a heart attack. Yeah right! I'm perfectly fine!

I have also started to get at least one anxiety attack a day. I hate it. I get so scared and the only thing that help me get through it is cutting. I have about 50 cuts on each leg right now.

I've got some new medicine called seroquel, but I don't feel any diffrent. It's a neuroleptic that treat schizophrenia. I'm not schizophrenic, but she says it will help me ayway... Hmm, I don't know if I trust her, because one of the side effect is weight gain. I think I will tell her tomorrow that I don't want to take this medicine anymore.

I guess thats all for now

Take care!

before - after

© Nemi 2002/2003